I have heard it said that you can change your own attitude. I have always questioned that to some degree because I have never managed to have a lot of success with my own ability to do that. Or at least not things that I any real strong emotion tied to.
In the last week I have decided that there are two things that I need to change my attitude about, both concerning work. The first will be a little easier - it is my attitude towards working longer hours. I tend to get grumpy about it and make sure that all my friends around me know it when I am. This does not help me get through it and by the time whatever project that is causing the extra hours goes out the door I am pretty cranky in and outside of the office. My course of action on this is to just accept that I have to do and not think about the other things that I could be doing instead of working. And of course pray to stay positive during these times.
The second is going to be harder because it has been festering for a while. The guy who sits next to me drives me crazy. He started in April and about 4 hours after he started I wanted him to go away. Now 9 months later I still want him to go away. He also now he has issues going at home which makes him even more fun to be around. Last week they sent him home for a day, I started to think that maybe I would get my wish. After he returned I decided that I had a horrible attitude to this guy and maybe I should work on changing that. In the last few days I have managed to find some compassion for him in his current situation but I also need to find a way to have a conversation with him. In the past I have either ignored him because I tend to be argumentative with him. I have prayed for him this weekend and I also prayed that I can learn to get along with him. And now I just have to trust in God to have the Holy Spirit work through me because I do not have the strenght or power to suddenly like this guy.
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2 comments:
I do think it is impossible to change your own attitude without relying on the Holy Spirit. Any changes without God are just cosmetic.
I've been in a similar place regaring an annoying co-worker I couldn't make myself like. At some point after I started praying "God, you're going to have to deal with her, because I can't handle it," I realized she wasn't bothering me so much anymore. And then I realized that she was pretty much the same person, and it was me who had been changed.
I'll be praying for you in your situations. I know both can be rough, but I've also seen the Holy Spirit do some really amazing work in my life on the attitude fronts. And if the Holy Spirit can make ME bite my tongue before I say the first (nasty) thing that comes to mind, or make ME stop and take a deep breath instead of venting in an angry impatient outburst sort of way, He can really do anything!
Thanks for your prayers. Now that I am trying to be more conscience of it I have started noticing some of the thoughts that go through my head concerning him and how unfounded they are. Awareness is the first step.
I know he's not going to change and I don't think that he sees any need to but I know that I need to because my behavior has been unacceptable at times. Not only do I want to bite my tongue but be able to have something of a normal conversation.
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