The other day I was talking to a co-worker about those situations where you find yourself in over your head. And he said I was in over my head with my next world adventure. And I wasn't sure how to respond to that because I knew that this was God's will but I did feel that I was in over my head. This weekend God showed me that I am not in over my head, I am following in obedience but I do need to focus on trusting Him that I am suppose to do this.
On October 24th I am leaving on a mission's trip with my church to Zambia (south-central Africa). A little over a year ago I decided that I would like to go to Africa and when the church announced the trip I was really excited about it. Then as the trip started to turn into a reality I got scared and wondered if this was something I was really suppose to do. Finally I couldn't come up with any reason not to go and prayed about that and when God didn't say "No" I said yes.
Since saying yes I keep hearing the importance of obedience. It showed up in daily devotions, the Bible study I am doing this summer, in church last weekend and then last night in the book I am currently reading about Moses. And I wanted to yell, "I am being obedient, I am going, what else to you want?" Then I kept reading and realized that it's not just about doing it but also about trusting Him no matter how illogical or scary it may seem. I don't believe going to Zambia is illogical, actually I think at this point in my life I think it is totally logical. But I have come up with a lot to scare me about this trip and it was the point at which the trip became real enough that I started to realize those fears that I started to pull away from the idea of the trip.
So I am going and I am not in over my head and starting to manage the fear enough to start to get excited about this. But still a little scared that I have no idea of what to expect from it.
I have also been hearing a lot about prayer lately. I wonder what that is suppose to mean? Hmm...
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3 comments:
Isn't that interesting how sometimes it seems like God is silent and sometimes it seems like He's directing EVERYTHING at you? I wonder if...well, I was going to say "I wonder if that's when you're reading Scripture/praying more," but it occurs to me that what I sort of meant was "I wonder if that's quantifiable and repeatable under lab conditions." Because that's sort of how I like things to go.
I'll be praying for you as the over-your-head feelings rise and fall...I know I let myself get out of hand big time for Europe, making all kinds of excuses why it was okay for me to be stressing out.... Hope you can largely avoid that!
It is also interesting how leading up to having to make the decision I thought God was being silent but I now I realize I just scared to hear what he was saying. I think I do that A LOT.
God ALWAYS provides in every way when we are in his will! : )
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